Knowing how to cope with and adapt to change is likely the single most effective method to prevent stress, anxiety, depression, and to overall enjoy better quality of life. While the uncertainty that comes with change can trigger a variety of emotions—from fear to sadness, dread, grief, or even total avoidance of the impending transition—change is also what brings so much beauty, joy, and meaning to life. Without it, we wouldn’t have opportunities to learn and to experience growth and progress. Many people consider themselves as having a total aversion to change. This is a quite common circumstance that typically stems from negative experiences you’ve had with change where you endured a great loss or, you might have not had the coping skills at the time to fully manage it. However, it’s likely that you’ve also enjoyed many positive encounters with change where it has improved your life in one or more ways. Nonetheless, it’s the negative confrontations with change that can stay with you, often being very traumatic even. It’s the hardships and the scars caused by change that can leave you feeling like you’re totally unequipped to handle any sort of deviation from your current way of life.

Think of the most recent, major life event you experienced that involved change and that impacted you emotionally. Maybe it was the loss of a job or of a relationship; the death of a loved one; a big failure, setback, or disappointment; having to move to another city or maybe facing major financial or health struggles. These are all examples of some the most difficult life events that involve change—sometimes a total, drastic change from the previous security, comfort, or happiness you enjoyed. If you examine this major life event—and you consider what exactly made the change so difficult and distressing for you—it’s likely that your resistance to the change had a lot to do with the emotional toll it took on you.

Resistance is, of course, a normal and very natural human response. In fact, it is biologically engrained in human beings to resist change because, long ago, before the modern times that we now know, human beings had to work much harder to maintain their own survival and that of their loved ones. Threats that are now one in a million—or non-existent—were common causes of death or serious injury for much of humanity in generations past. Moving from a piece of land from one side of a mountain to another, for instance, was a change that, for our ancestors, represented many unknowns, such as whether or not there would be access to water, food, appropriate shelter, and safety from enemy tribes. Nowadays, although moving is a change that can be stressful and also full of many unknowns, it’s not a threat to our survival in the same way it was for our ancestors. A major change thousands of years ago represented a very real threat to safety and wellbeing. So, sameness, routine, and structure meant that life was predictable and predictability ensured survival.

Today, our way of life is drastically different because we don’t have those same threats to our survival that existed long ago. But, we are, in many ways, genetically very similar to our ancestors, meaning that we are prewired to dislike and avoid change. Another major difference between now and way back, thousands of years ago, is that in our current civilization, we actually need to be able to approach change and cope with it in order to progress and succeed. So, a sort of opposite scenario has taken place whereby those who embrace change are now more likely to enjoy a better life in many respects. Embracing change is the new way to survive.

How to Start Embracing Change

It’s a bit challenging, at first, to work against what we are very much biologically programmed to do, but so long as you understand that part of being human is to resist change, then you’ll be able to go around many of your human tendencies. This is essentially how you can reprogram yourself away from the biological drives of fear and avoidance of the unfamiliar to instead, reinforcing a desire to try out and experience new things. Sure, change won’t always result in positive outcomes—the hardships will still be there sometimes—but so long as you appreciate the greater importance of embracing change, you’ll be able to gradually get comfortable with approaching it without fear. Below, we’ll discuss 4 critical strategies that can help you not only cope with change, but also invite it into your life.

1)Practice acceptance as a way of mentally preparing yourself for all the possible outcomes that can result from change; good or “bad.” This way, your fear and avoidance of change will diminish and ultimately, disappear. Acceptance involves a mindset shift where you begin to look at all life circumstances and situations with an attitude of nonresistance. Acceptance is your willingness to go with the flow, but not in a passive, I-don’t-care, apathetic way. Instead, you commit to putting forth your maximum effort and energy into everything you do, but then you willingly allow circumstances to play out and for life to take its course. This mindset also involves a lot of trust and a belief that what is meant for you—and what is best for you—will be.

2) Get prepared and plan ahead. Yes, you can practice acceptance, but still plan ahead for upcoming changes so that you’re ready to take on the new things in store for you. You can prepare for change and plan ahead by setting goals; anticipate potential issues and roadblocks and work on solutions; asking others for help or advice; or making sure to keep other aspects of your life pretty structured and predictable so that you can just focus on the one, major area where you’re undergoing change.

3)Remember your strengths by always reminding yourself of who you are. Whenever something in your life causes you stress, worry, or fear, remind yourself of your personal strengths, qualities, and attributes. Focus on the tools you have—not on what you lack—to confront those issues that feel so much bigger and more powerful than you. Fear can make you feel small, but this is an illusion that is very much fueled by those biological drives that try to convince you to stay away from uncertainty and anything unknown. This is, after all, the purpose of fear—it’s an internal warning that functions to make you want to run back to your safety zone where you’re more likely to “survive.” Reminding yourself of your power—of your strengths—helps you to snap out of that illusion and back into the reality that you have what it takes to handle the change in front of you.

4)Allow yourself to feel afraid, overwhelmed, or saddened about change. Your journey towards accepting and coping with change isn’t linear, and you’re not supposed to be enthusiastic about change all the time. Learning to cope with change and implementing these strategies isn’t about perfection or a flawless performance all the time. In fact, the real proof of your strength and ability to handle change lies in those moments when you want to run away from it—when you want to stay within the safe confines of what you know—but you challenge yourself to push through the fear and embrace change instead.